Finding your beauty

True beauty isn’t viewed on the skin. It isn’t viewed on the scale, in the mirror or in our bank accounts. Beauty is our souls, beauty is how we treat people, how our eyes just glisten when we laugh or how our attitude and emotions have an impact and contagious.

But often, we get side tracked by that number on the scale, and begin the negative roller coaster that is how we view ourselves. We begin tearing ourselves down when we see that number. We begin second guessing and becoming self conscious about everything we eat, wear, buy and even how we act.

Beauty is deeper than that number, and we need to remember that. We need to remember that our souls is all that will come with use throughout our lives.  Our souls is what radiates our beauty, and our world is full of beautiful souls.

We are all beautiful, we just need to remember this. When you let your true self out, when you let yourself do what scares you, what makes you scared and makes you want to run away, that is when you will impact others, and even yourself!

I am guilty for this.  This last month, I have fallen into a fairly long mope session. I wouldn’t say dark, just exhausting. I was exhausted, and I was tired of putting myself out there. I was tired of being that person that makes a difference, when nobody seemed to notice. Which is absurd, people totally noticed! I had so much support and love from my friends, family and fans.

But I was smothering my soul, and burying that beauty that I have within me.  I was hiding myself, putting myself behind this smiley and cheerful mask, while behind the scenes I was freaking out and starting to feel defeated..

But why??

Why was I feeling like this? I’m kicking ass! I’m succeeding, doing well and am happy with how my business is building steam here in Minnesota. But, I was hating myself. I was looking in the mirror and seeing a little chubby belly, looking on the scale and seeing the heaviest weight I’d ever seen. And I was just devastated. It didn’t matter how many awards I had, how many galleries I was hosting or weddings I was photographing, I was hating my own image of myself.

I could have a million bucks in the bank, and I’d still hate myself. I’d still look in the mirror and be sad. But why? Because I’m not a size 0? Because I’m not at 10% body fat? Girl please.

That is the stupidest thing ever. My fiance and I are soaring right now, why would I hate myself so bad?

I needed to SEE the beauty in myself again. I needed to see that person that I loved, that soul that I had fallen in love with and adored. I needed to find that love for myself again..

So as I laid in bed last night, thinking about “What do I need to change to fall in love with myself again?”

I thought long and hard, how do I get my own confidence back? How do I fall in love with myself again, and how do I get my sexy back?

So how do I find that love for myself, while still capturing that power and motivation that I used to have for my physique?



I put my lacy panties on, shaved my legs and told myself that I AM doing this, and it would be amazing. I don’t feel sexy, I don’t fit into my favorite jeans and think “damn”. I need my sexy back, and after seeing my fiance’s face when I showed him these photos, sure helped with that.

So here it is ladies.. A simple boudoir session in my studio, with my camera timer and two simple outfits. A sheet and one body suit.  My biggest frustration, is how hard it is to photograph yourself with a tripod and a timer!!! Thank god nobody can see into my studio 😉

Hutchinson MN Boudoir PhotographerBoudoir-5

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